I just found this in my drawer. My best friend gave me this envelope on the day of my graduation party with “heartfelt letter” written on it.
In case you’re wondering, he’s a lot dumber than he thinks he is. Like, he’s just really stupid. Also he might be gay.
But I just got it back.
I also watched The 40-Year-Old Virgin and Knocked Up for the first time in years (I think I haven’t seen the former since the last decade), and it’s just… Gosh. I have so much respect for Judd Apatow. Drive really got me pumped for direction, but Apatow’s films always make me want to write.
The pizza served at the S and K Mini Mart in Ridgeway, Ohio. It’s unprecedented for gas station pizza to say the least.
“Hey, don’t mind me, I’m just Ulysses Fucking Grant.”
There was a mirror. I saw my chance and I took it. It’s blurry.
twinkletoesdean asked: ALL OF THEM
1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?
I don’t really think I am confused right now.
2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?
Nope.
3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?
Yes.
4: Do you find it easy to trust others?
For the most part.
5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?
Hanging out with my family.
6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?
No one, because this scenario would never happen.
7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?
Cry. I tend to cry in these situations.
8: Are you close with your dad?
Yes.
9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?
Nope.
10: What are you listening to?
Axel F, the Beverly Hills Cop theme.
11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?
Orange juice.
12. Do you like hickeys?
I don’t think so?
13: What time do you go to bed?
Any time between one and seven in the morning.
14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?
I guess.
15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?
Yes.
16: Do you always answer your texts?
Yep.
17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?
Not really. I don’t think so.
18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?
The other day? Or yesterday, depending on the friend.
19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?
Probably.
20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
I don’t remember. Something like, “Shiit, I’m never getting to sleep.”
21: Is anyone else in the room with you?
Nope.
22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?
Not really.
23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?
My mood hasn’t changed much.
24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?
I don’t think so.
25: In the past week, have you cried?
No.
26: What color is the shirt you are wearing?
Red. It has The Flash on it.
27: Do people ever call you by your last name?
Yeah, it’s actually pretty common.
28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?
Not that I know of.
29: Do you have a best friend?
I have a few people that I consider best friends.
30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?
Probably not, considering it was like, my mom or something. Unless she was kissing some guy who wasn’t my dad. That would be weird.
31: Who was your last call from?
Dad.
32: Are you mad at anyone?
Nope.
33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
No.
34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?
I’ve never kissed anyone.
35: How many more days until your birthday?
Seventy-one, I think.
36: Do you have any summer plans yet?
Get everything worked out for college, finally. I’m procrastinating again. Which is bad.
37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?
Yep.
38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?
Not really.
39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?
I don’t think so, I’m pretty open.
40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?
No.
41: Do you think age matters in relationships?
It depends.
42: Are you available?
Yes.
43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?
Outside of a couple crushes, no one really.
44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?
I wouldn’t get a piercing.
45: Do you believe exes can be friends?
I guess.
46: Do you regret anything?
Probably.
47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?
Pokemon.
48: Did you ever lose a best friend?
Yes.
49: Was your last kiss a mistake?
Was this already asked?
50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?
Eh, don’t feel like it.
51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?
No.
52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?
Stop asking these questions.
53: What was the last thing you ate?
Bosco sticks.
54: Did you get any compliments today?
No.
55: Where are you going on your next vacation?
I don’t know. We don’t really go on vacation.
56: Do you own anything from other countries?
I have a Peso, and a copy of About Schmidt from Canada.
57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?
I guess guys, but it’s pretty even now.
58: Where have you lived most of your life?
Logan County, Ohio.
59: When was the last time you took a long drive?
Never.
60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?
Nope.
61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?
No.
62: Who do you text the most?
It depends on the day.
63: What was the last movie you saw?
50/50.
64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?
…What?
65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2010?
Zero.
66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?
Omg shut up.
67: Do you curse around your parents?
Yes.
68: Are you happy with where you live?
I guess. Sort of. Maybe.
69: Do you collect anything?
Movies? Super Nintendo games?
70: What’s your favorite color?
I don’t actually have one. Grayish blue. Is that a color?
71: Does the last song you listened to remind you of anyone?
Nope.
72: Has anyone ever cheated on you?
No.
73: What are your plans for tomorrow?
Nothing.
74: Do you have siblings over the age of twenty-one?
Yes.
75: Does your last ex have a job?
Why is this even a question?
76: What would you do if you found out your most recent ex was in a relationship?
I’m sick of these questions.
77: Where is your cellphone?
Right by me.
78: What color is your cellphone?
Black and silvery.
79: What did you dream of last night?
I don’t remember.
80: Are you atheist?
No.
81: Will you change your name when you get married?
No.
82: Are you ready for autumn weather?
Yes.
83: Have you had any big storms recently?
Nope.
84: What kind of bottoms are you wearing?
Boxers? Is that what bottoms means?
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The Flaming Lips - SpongeBob And Patrick Confront The Psychic Wall Of Energy
It’s not really much of a secret that I had a thing for a girl who had nothing for me. I’m going to relate a lot to that, because it’s my only example I have of being in the Friend Zone. Let’s call her Trorgan (it would have been our ship name), for fear that anyone in real life can find me on the internet.
I joke about my relationship with Trorgan a lot. It’s one of my defense mechanisms to make a joke out of everything that makes me sad. And though Trorgan was only a part of my life that spanned two years, she’s had a profound enough effect on who I am. So these are the kinds of things I went through when in the Friend Zone, and the things I told myself to make them more bearable.
1. “If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.”
No one wants to hold the blame for why a relationship doesn’t work. I’m not sure why, but it probably has to deal with avoiding the question, “Why don’t people like me?” When you’re in the Friend Zone, and I mean deep in the Friend Zone, you start to pass the blame for your failed romance off to fate, the biggest scapegoat in history. Remember, this is the same reason why people explain the death of babies. It’s tragic, but fate wasn’t going to let them live. Think about that for a second, because you’re really likening your troubles to dead babies. That makes you a terrible person.
You can actually get out of the Friend Zone. I didn’t, and it ended in a lot of crying. But I guarantee the people who manage to get something out of a long-term friendship (while holding ulterior motives all the way) didn’t sit idle while they waited for the love of their life to just fall for them. Is that really how any relationship works? I know it’s tricky because you’re friends, and friendship is a minefield. Relationships come and go, and it’s expected that you have a few boyfriends or girlfriends before your actual lifetime suitor. But a friendship is something, that if well managed, can last a lifetime. And sometimes telling your friend, “Hey, I think I’m in love with you,” is a good way to end a friendship.
I’ve been through this before. You start to to run scenarios through your head where you tell them your feelings, and there’s the good scenario where they’ve had those feelings all along too, and then the bad one where they never talk to you again. In my case, she still talked to me, and we remained friends for about six months after.
But the fact is, if you want it to happen, you have to pursue it. No one becomes boyfriend and girlfriend through common law; you’re not just chilling one day and like, “Hey, we talk all the time and I like you, so why not?” It’s like finding a date to prom. You have to ask. It’s best to put all of your cards on the table before you get in too deep. Just think about this: if you wait four years to advance on a girl, suddenly you’re the creep who wasted four years worming your way into a girl’s inner circle because you wanted bone. That’s creepy.
(Source: unalike)
